Tuesday, June 16, 2009


I am trying to de-clutter my house. This means, I am going through everything, and will be having a yard sale in a week and a half. We have so much JUNK. A lot of the items we have are baby items - a baby bed, high chairs, baby bottles, etc. I am not planning on having any more kids, so it seems like a good time to get rid of this stuff. I am also going through TONS of boxes of our other stuff to determine if there is anything we don't NEED any more. There is soooo much stuff. How did I collect it all? Why haven't I de-cluttered prior to this.

I think the answer to that is, that we collected all this stuff during our marriage (some of it is stuff from our childhoods), and we had a HUGE house in Indiana in which to store it in. When we moved to Raleigh, I think we realized how much we really had. We had to get a 10 x 10 storage unit to hold the vast majority of our stuff. When we moved to Greenville, we got a 3 bedroom duplex so we wouldn't need the storage unit, but now, somehow, we are busting at the seams. At any rate, I am getting rid of as much as I can. If I don't think that I can sell or donate items, I am THROWING AWAY STUFF!!! This is a new concept to me, as I don't like to throw away ANYTHING. But I am throwing away stuff. YEAH ME!

I am also de-cluttering old worn out stuff from my head. I am TRYING to throw away past transgressions against me. Mainly from my sister. My sister is unique - SO different from the rest of my family. She has done some things in the past that have hurt me. I have held onto that hurt for a LONG, LONG time. Part of the reason I haven't been able to move on, is that she doesn't think that some of the things that she did were wrong. At this point it doesn't matter if she thinks that she was wrong. She has to answer to a Higher Power than me for her wrongdoings. In order for me to answer to a Higher Power, it is time for me to forgive and move on. That is not to say that I TRUST my sister, but I need to move on.

I am not sure I would have ever forgiven her had it not been for her illness. She is sick with leukemia (specifically, M-4 AML). She is in remission and has one more round of chemo. She has not been able to have the last round due to having spots on her liver that have been unidentifiable as well as MRSA. She is finishing up antibiotics for the MRSA, and we hope that the spots will be able to be indentified soon. Once the spots are identified, a course of action can begin. Once she has gone through all 4 rounds of chemo, and stays cancer free for 2 years, she will be considered cured. Her particular type of leukemia only has a 30-35% rate of survival, but she has a genetic marker that has boosted her rate of survival to 50-55%. Those aren't great odds, and this is serious stuff. That is why I have to forgive her and love her for who she is, not who I want her to be. I forgive her.

Alli C

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