Monday, November 30, 2009

Everyone has a (sob) story

Everyone has a sob story. Here is mine. Sorry if it sounds a little whiny, but I am feeling a little whiny.

I have been out of work since May 2008. I was laid off after being at a job for 6 months. Money became tight, but with the help of unemployment insurance, we were able to make ends meet. I stopped receiving unemployment in May 2009, and we have been living on student loans and the small amount Steve makes as a graduate assistant. But alas, the financial despair is ever so present. We will not get the school loans until after all of our bills are due in January, and could possibly be evicted. We are trying to work with our landlord, but the money is due when the money is due. To be honest, I have been racking my brain on a way for me to earn these funds, and short of doing something illegal or immoral, I've got nothin'.

My sister has cancer, and will likely not make it too far into the new year. We have never been close, and sometimes she is difficult to deal with, but she is still my sister. She has two children who will have to grow up without their mom. And my parents. Why should they have to bury their 30 year old daughter?

My dad recently had triple by-pass surgery. He began having chest pains and went to the hospital. He never had a heart attack (thankfully), but it has been extremely stressful time. I am thankful that he made it through. He is mending well, and is getting more and more strength every day. I am helping him and helping my mom around the house so she can focus on her work.

I miss my husband, although he is in the last week of classes and has 2 weeks of exams before the semester finally comes to an end. I am hoping to be able to spend some time with him in December, but he will need to go visit his Dad and stepmom as well as his grandparents.

I am ready for some good to come along. I want to have a real celebration, not just celebrating the positives of a bad situation. I know a celebration is a celebration. We are celebrating that my dad made it through his surgery so well. We are celebrating that we have today with my sister (and with each other for that matter, as we are not promised tomorrow), but I want to have a joyous occasion that does not have sad undertones. While we are celebrating each day with my sis, we are also mourning that this might be her last Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year. My family just needs some pure joy, happiness, or vacation from reality.

How do we get that?

Alli C

1 comment:

  1. WOW. What a tough year. I am also ready for 2009 to be done. Although I am working I have had a similar year. My favorite saying is Calgon where the F are you???

    Here's some peace and good news at the holidays and the new year.