Sunday, October 17, 2010

I'm Better, but not where I want to be

I'm still struggling. I have taken some of my meds, but it is not in my system like it should be. I have just about decided to go to a doc-in-the-box some time next week, just so that I can get some more meds and be a better me.

The problems and struggles will still be here, I know this. But I will be able to handle them a lot better and with more grace than I am right now. I hopefully will have more patience my children, and help Jack manage his sensory issues better. And a happier Mommy and Jack will mean a happier family all the way around.

For right now, I am holding on to EVERY teeny, tiny piece of good that happens. Tightly.

And in the midst of this, I am taking stock in what makes ME happy, and trying to incorporate that into our daily lives. For so long, I have neglected who I AM. I am rediscovering myself. Listening to music I like, instead of just the kids' music in the car. Singing loudly to my favorite songs. Music has always been an important part of my life, but it sort of slipped to the background.

I do feel a little selfish adding so many things about me to our lives, but my kids need to learn that my needs and desires are just as important as theirs.

Things are looking a little better, but not where I want them to be.

Thank you for the kind words and prayers. You are great.

Alli C

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